Learning To Shut The Fuck Up Sometimes (which is pretty rich coming from me)

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 “The most beautiful of all compensations for our miseries is the tenderness of our fellow creatures.” - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

In perpetual hindsight, I have been know to talk quite often and often times more than I really should. Call it my fatal flaw, hubris, or aggressive ADHD. Any of those is fine. 

Since many of you have reached out with personal stories or problems you happen to be going through, I've had to practice shutting the ole hole and actively listening. 

To quote Sahil Bloom, "I'm a helper". Can't help it. Pun very much intended. 

I've recently moved into my grandmothers house. For reasons aforementioned in my last post (go read that shit), I was neglecting her and the home that will one day be mine, though I hope that day is a far off horizon that I never see.

Since getting sober, I've been hyper fixated on tending to her every need and getting my Home Improvement on. (Tim Allen should really sell his own tool belts)

I sometimes even stress myself to near panic over minute details or making sure she is 100% okay and comfortable. 

For context, she can walk, is of sound mind, and sassy as all hell (apple->tree). She does have Macular Degeneration which causes her eyes to fail her but other than that, she's just fine. She also eats damn near a pound of butter a day but hey, I used to love cocaine, so who am I to judge?

I've come to realize, through my ambition to make everything PERFECT, I'm actually causing her to fret over my well being. 

Sometimes, less is more.

Which brings me to the whole point of today's lil blog post. 

When someone comes to you with an issue or in distress, ask yourself this question to set things into perspective...

"Do they want to be helped, heard, or hugged?" 

Some people don't want the solution to their problem, even if you have it readily available. 

Some people want you to just sit and listen to them vent, for however long it may be.

Some people just want to be held, to feel a physical anchor while their soul is adrift at sea.

I'm trying to be better about realizing that myself. 

When the ones you care about come to you for support, and they will, try asking them that simple question.

"Do you want to be helped, heard, or hugged?"

Peace,

Dorian

  • Gym pump song of the day - "Xxplosive" - Dr. Dre & Nate Dogg
  • Book that Justin and Nico told me is smutty but great dark fantasy - "Prince of Nothing" - R. Scott Bakker
  • Youtube channel that I'm currently obsessed with like a 10 yo w/ Robloxs - "https://www.youtube.com/@ChatHistory"

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